I've realized that I am coming to a unique point in my life--a point where I say "attraversiamo", which in Italian means "let's cross over". I am getting married. I am crossing over into a new division of my life that will help me to rediscover myself in new ways. I must admit that after watching "Eat. Pray. Love." today, my head is spinning with ideas and thoughts that I almost feel I cannot dictate or explain.
In committing myself to someone else completely, I realize that I may never live out my dreams. They are all so big. It's not a matter of giving up on them--I'm not. But I know that as I grow with someone else my dreams will change, just like me. So here is the part where I confess my longings, both worldly and spiritual and personal. I want to create something beautiful. Nothing specific--it could be creating the greatest love anyone has ever been able to contain in their soul for just one person, or writing a masterpiece that holds within itself the ability to touch everyone that hears it. I want to have a family. To feel the togetherness that is only felt in the dynamic where everyone can love and even accept each other despite their choices and differences. I want to travel to some of the most beautiful and even remote places of the world--to live in Italy in a little old cottage that is part of a comfortably small community--family. To visit the Louvre in Paris every day until I have gotten my fill of all the works that have made men marvel at their beauty for centuries. I want to gain the talent, knowledge, and courage to perform in an opera in front of a thousand people. I want to learn Italian, French, and Spanish. I want to learn how to sew and make a huge patchwork quilt of tangible memories.
I want all of this and so much more. My friend asked me if I realized how big of a commitment marriage is. I answer yes. Marriage will be work, and I am sure that I may never get to see the Louvre or visit my Italian cottage, but I am ready for new dreams. Dreams with someone else in them who loves and appreciates me and respects me in every way. I believe--no, I know--that I have found that man. I am grateful for him every day. So, attraversiamo! Let's do it!! Here's to new dreams and new beginnings.
